On Thursdays, they come here for the best palomas in town, thanks to my substitution of Jamaican tangelos and blood limes for the traditional grapefruit. And on Fridays, they come for half-price pork carnitas, legendary thanks to my addition of sweetened condensed milk, which caramelizes the meat with a sweet coating.

I would appreciate it if you'd turn it down."He tries to wrestle out of Pen's grasp. "It's a free country.""I'm actually aware of that," Pen says. "Which means you are free to choose self-preservation and turn down your god-awful music. As long as one of you idiots can manage to find the volume knob. It's the little round thing about the size of your brain.

I list what I had for breakfast.I whisper the ingredients for my signature coconut cake.I take a deep breath, the scents of a thousand shifts at the restaurant tucked into the fabric of the front seat. I start listing them too: mango and cilantro and epazote, tomatillos and roasted pepitas and tortillas.The truth is, I can't sleep without those smells tangled in my hair.

Dani’s mild eating disorder was definitely the most annoying thing about her. One Christmas break I’d gained ten pounds and went up two cup-sizes—a post episode binge that finally made me look normal, like a woman. I would have killed to hold onto that version of me and all Dani did was count calories and complain about her non-existent cellulite. She was lucky. Most people were, they just couldn’t see it.

If I had to pull an all-nighter studying for a test or too many looming deadlines had me pulling out my hair, I wouldn’t end up with just some trendy coffee addiction. I’d end up in a mini-coma, face down in the middle of the studio or on the floor of the community showers.

My lip trembled, my throat raw, and I started to cry. But not because I didn’t look perfect. But because I looked healthy and because I wasn’t sure how long I’d stay that way.

But maybe I could give myself something too—permission to keep trying. Even when it felt like it was all for nothing. Even if trying was all I ever did, I shouldn’t stop.

Because the truth was I was tired. I was tired of fighting but more importantly I was tired of losing, of being disappointed.

Then he kissed her without breathing, without thinking. He kissed her until his entire body was tingling from the taste of her.

You’re not going to disappear,” I said. “I won’t let you”.“Even if this is all there is? Going to school and working at my uncle’s restaurant and fighting with Mari? Why would anyone want to remember this?”“I want to remember you. Just like this.”She rolled onto her back, hands covering her face, and I pulled them away.“People like you don’t disappear,” I said.“Then where do they go?”“Everywhere.